I just finished uploading the Print on Demand version. It should be live in a day or two!
It’s been a long journey to get to this point. That I know of, I haven’t sold a single copy but then my goal wasn’t to be a bestseller. I wanted to hold in my hand the work I’d poured myself into. Like many kids, I had a vision of what I wanted when I grew up. Those visions tend to get lost along the way, replaced with versions of reality other hardened souls tell us to accept. With two parents who were chronically ill, one a former foster child dealing with trauma and rejection, the other profoundly mentally ill, my life never followed a formula. I had many voices telling me who I should be and I unfortunately listened to them.
Fast forward thirty six years and here I am, pursuing that vision again. Only, now, I’m not in it because I have visions of being number one. I simply want to publish and hold in my hands the books I wrote when things were so difficult. I wished for time to write and it was granted. That it was often at night when I was caregiving and unable to sleep didn’t matter. I put together a story that, when I look back at it now, still really touches me. Through soul-searching and challenging the reality others told me to accept, I pulled together fragments that inspired me. I don’t expect this story will ever speak to anyone else the way it speaks to me.
The vision I had of this book when I wrote the first word in 1999 is no where near what it became. I’ve been spending my downtime around my Wintermester class to reread the whole series, ironing out inconsistencies and helping it to flow better. I had to do that same thing with Joanna 1 when, while getting the POD ready to go, I noticed a spelling error I couldn’t ignore. This is my first time to publish and I’m still learning but the thing I look forward to most is being able to hold in my hands the printed version of the book with the characters I grew to love. Even today, two decades later, it feels like coming home when I read it.
After Christmas I’ll get to work on Joanna 2 so I can get that up and published before January 31. To be able to sit down and read through my books without having a computer on my lap will be the best gift ever. I’m old fashioned and still take joy in turning the pages. Don’t get me wrong! I love my Kindle, but holding a book that smells like new paper and fresh ink still makes me smile. And if I sell one or two, that’ll be great too! Thank you for going with me on this journey!
Like so many others, I’ll be spending Christmas at home. I miss the travel and being as active as I was. Hopefully, I can go back to that in 2021. But if not, I’ll spend it writing and learning. Those were the two dreams my 14 year old self cherished and I’m very privileged to be able to pursue them now.